Paul Tripp shows the progression of how good things in life become bad things, and then proceed to ruin our relationships. (This isn’t an exact quote, just my paraphrase.)
Desire is basically an “I want…” Jesus did this Gethsemane. But then he said, “Father, not my will, but yours be done.” Well, our desire then morphs very quickly into a demand: “I must…” Desire then morphs further into a need: “I will…I cannot live without it.” When you call something a need, you have made yourself unwilling to live without it. A need then morphs into an expectation: “You should.” The Expectation leads to disappointment: “You didn’t…” Then disappointment leads to punishment: “Because you didn’t, I will…”
Then you will say to the other person, “Because you haven’t delivered what I want in this relationship, I won’t stick a knife in your chest, but I will rise to the throne of creator, and I will treat you as if you are dead, for however long it takes, to satisfy my personal vengeance.”
Check out the full DVD (6 sessions). You won’t be disappointed.