If Being a Real Man Means Watching UFC, Then I’m Out

If you are a Christian dude, you’ve probably talked about what being a “real man” means.  Other than the obvious (reading your Bible, praying, repenting of sin, etc.), here are some of the more curious things I’ve heard.  A real man: watches UFC, never wears bright colored shirts, does not listen to contemporary Christian music, smokes good cigars, owns a shotgun or rifle, and drives a Jeep or an F-250.  There are others, but you get the idea.

It seems that we encourage men at retreats and conferences to do these types of “dude things” so they can “live missionally” in the culture.  I’m not saying that these things are sins (though they may be).  I’m not saying never go to the bar to hang out with your non-Christian neighbor.  My point is that there are huge oversights in the male Christian community that would help young men grow in holiness and make some non-Christians scratch their heads.

I’m thinking about service and responsibility, particularly regarding how you live your life in your home.

Most of this list comes from what I’ve observed as I’ve lived with other men for the past seven years.  Basically, it comes down to common sense, courtesy, and responsibility.  Real men:

  • Know how to wash the dishes and put them away.
  • Sweep the floor when it’s dirty.
  • Take off their wet shoes when they walk in a house.
  • Do laundry instead of using Febreeze.
  • Make the whole bed instead of just throwing the comforter over the messed-up sheets.
  • Wash their facial hair down the drain after shaving.
  • Keep their clothes in their closet, not on the arm of the couch.
  • Take out the garbage (without being asked).
  • Do not treat their vehicle like a garbage can.
  • Offer to let someone else use the TV remote for a change.
  • Do not insist on always seeing a shoot-em-up flick with their girlfriend/fiancee/wife.
  • Vacuum and dust on a regular basis (not just before Mom and Dad come to visit).

If you are that guy who says, “This is chick stuff,” thank you.  You just proved my point.  I’m not talking about being a domesticated she-man who stays at home wearing an apron while his wife brings home the bacon.  Not at all.  But let me be honest: if you can’t do these things, you aren’t a man, and you aren’t ready to take care of a household, wife, and kids.

You don’t need to be Mr. Clean, but be quick to serve and regard others as more important than yourself (Phil. 2:3).  A true leader is a servant.  Are you the guy with two-week old pizza boxes on the carpet, playing Xbox in a t-shirt that hasn’t been washed since May?  There’s a remedy: get off this blog, go pick up a broom, and serve somebody.

Think about this: if you were to ask 100 Christian women if they’d prefer a man who could do a UFC move while smoking a cigar or one who knew how to keep an organized, tidy house, how do you think 100 of them would answer?

5 Comments Add yours

  1. blog4jesus2 says:

    Thank you! And now, can you find me a Christian man in his 50’s that believe’s that?! :) Good article!


  2. matthew says:

    Have you looked at the Art of Manliness blog (http://artofmanliness.com/)?

    They approach manliness from a “wholistic” perspective which includes the externalities (dress, grooming, style, carriage, speech) and the internals (loyalty, education, charisma, grace, chivalry, etc).

    As a man who know how to cook and clean and bring home the bacon and enjoy more stereotypically manly activities, I attest to the accuracy of your argument.

    My wife appreciates that I can cook for her when her feet are worn out from working around the house and caring for our child all day. She appreciates that I can clean the bathroom. The balance of that is that my wife respects me and while she may clean the bathroom a bit different and probably more thoroughly than I, she doesn’t nag, but appreciates that I do it well enough to suit.


  3. james says:

    Matthew, a holistic approach is what the church needs for me, for sure. Thanks for stopping by, and I’ll check out the site.


  4. Cheryl says:

    Now here is something you and I agree 100% on, James! Carly, you are a lucky and smart woman for planning on marrying this guy. :)


  5. This is embarrassing. Look, if you are going to compare actions and knowledge with preferences (enjoying UFC), then your argument is weak. I came across this blog while doing some random searches for the morality and ethical implications of supporting the UFC. You are using circular reasoning (UFC bad, thus doing dishes good ; Doing dishes good, thus UFC bad), as your concluding factor. You are right, being able to support your spouse is a solid way to show your love for her, but your attempt to degrade other “social norms” was poorly done. After reading this, you come off as bitter little man who aspires to reach a sense of masculinity through the putting down of others who enjoy certain social events and activities. (Just like we learn from Christ right? Be legalistic pharisees, correct?) Blogs such as this one are the reason why Christians are mocked and are not taken seriously in debate; they do not provide a substantial argument and generally rely on ad hominem arguments. People clearly read your blog, so do us all a favor and think things through logically. Oh, and in response to your last comment on how all Christian women would not love a man who enjoys the UFC and a cigar . . . You have proof that all Christian women are legalistic and pharisaical when judging a man’s character? Sorry for the rant, I got bored in class… I’m sure you’re a great Christian dude. Have a wonderful day :)


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